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The 5 Reasons Why I Take My Kids To Chuck E Cheese

As a child, I had delusions of grandeur. Of perhaps one day, my parents taking me to the ever popular Chuck E Cheese of the 1980’s because just maybe, they wanted to celebrate their kick ass offspring…but alas, it was not to be. I had to rely on the good graces of childhood birthday invitations to be granted access to walk through those finger print smeared doors where “a kid can be a kid.” Games, chaos, and out of control obnoxiousness being welcomed and encouraged. After all, it’s implied in the slogan! I honestly don’t know who was more excited to explore this indoor, 3000 square foot petri dish of pandemonium, me or the birthday child. Maybe I have deep rooted issues of childhood deprivation and can clearly remember how something so simple as a trip to Chuck E Cheese would have filled me with overwhelming happiness. Maybe I am struggling with parental overcompensation, or maybe it’s because it’s just a pizza joint and we all need to relax.

Here are the top 5 reasons why I take my kids to Chuck E Cheese.

5. The creepy, talking, robotic characters with ginormous eyeballs that never blink in unison. It’s a poor design I’ll admit that. The lip synching is almost as bad as Britney Spears, BUT this ethnically diverse music band sparks up a nostalgia for me. It’s what everyone envisions when they think of Chuck E Cheese. The washed up, one hit wonder crew consisting of two barnyard animals, 1 Italian dude, and a purple monster with yellow nostrils that perform (poorly) over 70 shows a day for hundreds of pint sized groupies. It’s all part of the experience.

4. Yes, it’s indoors. Germs are breeding and bacteria are multiplying. Rhinovirus, pink eye, viral gastroenteritis aka: diarrhea, it’s all there and it’s no mystery that you are most certainly playing Russian Roulette with your mucus membranes. That’s why the entire building is strategically placed with various hand sanitizer stations. Squirt your little heart out or take it back old school and actually wash your hands with soap and water in the bathroom. My advice? Don’t lick your fingers or suck on the joysticks. I’m not trying to engage in verbal fisticuffs here, but it’s a couple hours of your time. Suck it up.

3. I’ll admit, I am a total food snob and I don’t relish in the idea of eating here BUT, the flavorless cardboard disguised as pizza is a thing of the past my friends. The menu has changed! Their bbq Chicken pizza is actually tasty. Grilled chicken with crispy fried onions and tangy bbq sauce?? Umm…yes please. Three different flavors of chicken wings! To pair with your pitcher of beer of course. And churros! What child doesn’t like a warm and crispy rod of dough covered in cinnamon and hyperactivity sprinkles? The monotony of inserting tokens for hours while dragging around hundreds of tickets to be redeemed for worthless prizes can really make you build up an appetite.

2. Skee Ball is the business. Me, a pitcher of beer, and the Skee Ball machine?? Just keep those quarters coming and leave me be…unless you want to challenge me? In a side by side arcade blood bath? Well then, grab your balls and let’s do this!

1. The most important reason of all. IT’S NOT ABOUT ME. It’s about my kids! It’s about what is considered fun and exciting for them. Listen, I don’t want to go to snotty Amber’s birthday invite for a 3 hour indoor trampoline party that smells like feet and ass, but again, it’s not about me. I’m a parent, and somewhere in the contract it specifically states that parents are required to actively participate in these shenanigans even if it poses a risk to our health and sanity.

Sit back and relax! Who are we kidding? What I really mean is, challenge your limits of mental and physical exhaustion while chasing your kids around relentlessly. And without fail, watch that giant, human sized, rat bring abundant amounts of joy and excitement to the hearts of children everywhere.

 

Do you agree? Did I make you chuckle?

Vote for me pretty PLEASE!

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About the author

Sara Pittman

Sara is from sunny San Diego CA. She is a wife, busy mother of 3 and amateur chef stumbling through organized chaos on a daily basis using sarcasm and humor to soften the blow...that's what she said. She will take any opportunity to demonstrate the running man in public and enjoys being a sarcastic smart ass.

16 Comments

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  • Absolutely!!!! It’s not about me!! I hate that place, but for my kids, it’s their wonderland. And since we won’t be flying to Disney anytime soon, they get to go to Chuck E Cheese anytime they want! Also-glad to hear the menu has been improved!!

  • You definitely made me chuckle and I agree about the nostalgic element for sure, and TOTALLY agree about Skee Ball! And yes, it is definitely about the kids. I am a major germophobe and I can’t take the kids anywhere without cringing about all the germs they’re about to get on their hands… but you can’t avoid all germs forever. And that’s also why I keep hand sanitizer in my purse… and my car… and the kitchen… and the bathroom… 😉

  • Is skee ball a sport? If it isn’t it should be. That’s the only game I’m good at. I loved taking my daughter to Chuck E. Cheese. The pizza’s not bad, there’s a place to sit and it’s a great place to let them burn off that energy so they’re tired when they come home. Now we’ve graduated to Dave & Busters.

  • We are hours from a chuck E cheese, but I take my kids to the Burger king play place for some of the same reasons. we do stuff like that on vacation though and i also LOVE skee ball!

  • Beer and (freshly made) churros are the bomb! I’ve never been to Chuck E Cheese but it sounds like the kind of germy environment all kids need to be exposed to on a regular basis.

  • OMG – this made me laugh. I admit, I avoid the place at all cost. I only go to My dad was the technical manager at a Showbiz Pizza when I was young and I went there every.single.day for about 2 years. You’d think a kid would love that! All the games I could ever want to play. All gamed out. LOL!!

  • You are awesome, “grab your balls and lets play” that had me laughing so much! My kids must be the only kids on the planet to not “get” this place. Granted they are only 8,6 and 4 but the few times we have gone they stare, can’t decide what to play, and generally are deers in headlights. My husband and I were more psyched than them. Also, apparently the random kid I remember killing it in games, kind of rude and pushy with endless money and no parents is still living it up at this place. There is always one of those kids there.

  • I hate to admit it but i never let my daughters go anywhere like this when they were young, mostly for the reasons you highlighted. You’ve almost sold me on it. With your great wit and logical approach to seeing it for what it is, perhaps some day when I am a grandma, I will hang at the Chuck E. Cheese. 😉

  • Ha Ha! Sara you’re right it’s about the kids. I don’t even think there was a place like Chuck E Cheese when I was growing up. I take my son all the time after school never on the weekend. I also agree don’t suck on your fingers or lick the machines! And, skeeball is my favorite .

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