http://www.google.com/fonts/#QuickUsePlace:quickUse/Family:Josefin+Slab:400,600,700 http://www.google.com/fonts/#QuickUsePlace:quickUse/Family:Open+Sans:300italic,400italic,600italic,400,700,600,300

An Exhausted Mom’s Version Of The 12 Days Of Christmas

An exhausted mom’s version of the classic Christmas song we all know and love. Everybody sing along with me:

On the 1st day of Christmas the gift bestowed to me…
A newly replaced transmission that didn’t work.

national lampoons flipping the bird giph

On the 2nd day of Christmas my child said to me…
I think I have ringworm on my tummy.

On the 3rd day of Christmas my child said to me…
My ear-piercing is infected and I think I see pus.

On the 4th day of Christmas my child said to me…
My tummy hurts and I puked all over your sheets.

national lampoons sad clark giph

On the 5th day of Christmas the gift bestowed to me…
Hearing that my car wouldn’t be fixed for 3 weeks.

On the 6th day of Christmas my child said to me…
I stepped in fresh dog poop and tracked it in the house.

On the 7th day of Christmas my child said to me…
I think I have ringworm on my tummy… and my back.

On the 8th day of Christmas my child said to me…
Here’s a cold dead lizard I found …with it’s eyeballs missing.

national lampoons disgusted clark giph

On the 9th day of Christmas my child said to me…
I definitely have ringworm on my tummy…and my back…and my leg.

On the 10th day of Christmas the gift bestowed to me…
An old busted oven and a kitchen full of smoke.

national lampoons fire giph

On the 11th day of Christmas my child said to me…
I missed the toilet and puked all over the bathroom floor.

On the 12th day of Christmas…
An exhausted, frazzled, puke and fecal covered mom threw her hands up and said, “Fuck this shit, I’m out!”

national lampoons car giph

Merry Christmas! Wishing you a flu, fungal and catastrophe free holiday.

 

We’ve all been there amirite?

tmblogo

Vote for me!! It helps my ranking!!…and It makes me smile (:

About the author

Sara Pittman

Sara is from sunny San Diego CA. She is a wife, busy mother of 3 and amateur chef stumbling through organized chaos on a daily basis using sarcasm and humor to soften the blow...that's what she said. She will take any opportunity to demonstrate the running man in public and enjoys being a sarcastic smart ass.

5 Comments

Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Happy and Humble Copyright © 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may only be used with express written consent of HappyandHumble.com.